Starting next week, I’ll likely be posting more updates here. For now, I can tell you that Iver is doing very well. He is off of the IV he was on for the first 10 days and is solely on breast milk now (provided by the NICU). He had lost 60g in his first week but has since been putting on weight and is now 40g above his birth weight. He is 2 pounds and 14.74 ounces now! (1325g) and drinking 26ml every 3 hours.

Thank you all for your continued support. Your comments and words of support have helped immensely during this incredibly emotional time in my life.

Take care,

Dylan (and Iver)

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Dear readers,

It is with a heavy heart but also with extreme proudness that I am posting this update…

On Saturday evening, my beautiful and amazing son, Iver Cohen Benson, was born. Iver is healthy and is the cutest and most precious person I have ever met. As to be expected, it will still be a bumpy ride for he and I as he continues to grow under the care of the wonderful staff at the hospital.

On Sunday, we had to unfortunately say goodbye to the strongest and most wonderful woman I have ever met. I miss Robyn more than words can explain. I could not be more impressed with her strength, and I am so lucky to have known her. She will live on forever within Iver, and in my heart.

Thank you to each and every one of you for your love, your kind words, and your support during this incredibly difficult time. The shares of this page and the thousands of comments that I have received, both here and on the YouCaring donation page, have helped so much with getting through these past days and weeks. I truly appreciate the love and support from all over the world.

All the best to you all.

Dylan (and Iver)

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Hello all,

Dylan here. I just wanted to reach out and say thank you to each and every one of you that have read our story and to those who have donated and/or shared. We are overwhelmed with the response from not only the community, but now the nation and beyond.

We sincerly appreciate that the donations have continued, even though we have surpassed the donation goal. We set the goal at 36K as that would essentially be one year of Robyn’s wages. Now that is has been accomplished, any additional funds will not only go towards living costs and the costs associated with supporting Iver, but also towards us moving to a more suitable living space for the two of us, and of course towards an education fund for Iver.

We had another ultrasound today and things are still looking good for Iver, and Robyn is still holding on strong.

Thanks again for your continued support. We truly appreciate the help and kind words.

Take care,

Dylan – See more at: http://www.youcaring.com/help-a-neighbor/baby-iver-fund/133560#sthash.SXxknwQK.dpuf

It’s been a while since I’ve written. I always have the intent to write here every day so that I can keep track of everything that’s happening and how I’m feeling, but sometimes it’s all just too overwhelming and I don’t know where to start.

As I write this, Iver is now 26 weeks and four days old. He is still growing in the womb and amazingly things are still remaining healthy as far as my wife’s body goes. I went for another ultrasound today (they are scheduled for every Monday) and things are looking good for him. Two weeks ago he was at 717 grams, when they weighed him today, he was 1066 grams (2lbs, 6oz).

Last week, I took a tour of the NICU and saw a baby that was at 900 grams. It gave me a lot of perspective and made me feel more confident that my son is going to make it. My head and my heart are constantly playing this chess match and it’s so painful. On one hand I can’t wait to meet my son and try and give him the best life possible and try my hardest to be a great dad for him, on the other hand I know that the day or the day after he is born will be the day that I have to say goodbye to Robyn. Knowing that sooner or later I will (“hopefully”) be splitting my time between the NICU with my newborn son and having to start grieving all over again and probably much harder… I can’t describe the feeling but it’s very overwhelming.

It is so tough to see her every day. She still looks so beautiful, and for the most part she looks like she’s sleeping. I miss her so much. I’m so proud of her for how strong she is holding up for Iver. I wish so badly that I could talk to her just one more time. I’m trying so hard to stay so strong but when I think about having to live the rest of my life without her, it’s so hard.

I have decided to take a leave from work. I tried going in for a few hours here and there over the past few weeks and hoped that I could use work as a distraction, but I have far too much on my mind and so much preparation to do for the future that I simply can’t focus on working.

I am so thankful for my friends that are always making themselves available for me, as well as my family and her family. I’m so grateful to everyone at the hospital who is helping to make this all possible and recently there have been a few wonderful members of the community who have offered to try and help with some type of funds to help out Iver and I. My work has also been incredibly supportive throughout all this. I don’t know what I would’ve done without all of these people helping me all the time. It is a surreal feeling to feel so lucky because of all the support and also so incredibly unlucky because of what happened to Robyn.

Over the next few days my plans include cementing leave from work details, creating a fund at the bank, beginning to prepare for the eventual funeral that will need to happen, and starting to prepare for what will hopefully be meeting my son sometime in the next 7 1/2 weeks.

For now I will just continue to hope that every day is the same as the next and that I’m able to accomplish the things that I need to accomplish to continue to move forward.

On Saturday evening, I took a cab and I went to 7-11 on the way to a friend’s house, and later, when I got out of the cab I had lost my debit card. The cab driver and I had been talking about what’s happening with me, and the cab driver was so nice that he ended up driving by himself back to the 7-11 to go and get my debit card. When he came back to drop it off he told me he was so moved by my story that he gave me a giant hug. Yesterday, he texted me and said that he had been talking with his wife and they wanted to offer to make some lasagna for me, and asked if I was allergic to anything. Tonight, he texted me for my address and came over to my place and dropped off a gigantic warm lasagna.

I can’t explain how appreciative I am, it is such a beautiful gesture by a very kind man. He cooked the lasagna himself, and said that he was the least he could do, and he just wanted to help make things just a little bit easier for me.

There are some truly wonderful people in this world, and I feel very thankful that I was fortunate enough to meet one like him.

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January 18th.

Yesterday I met with the doctors and social workers from the ICU and the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit). Amazingly, my wife’s body is still holding up incredibly well and is very stable. Most of her body is functioning unassisted still, apart from breathing and fluid and medication through IV. We are now at 25 weeks and 1 day pregnant. This means now that is is viable to deliver the baby via c-section and that he will have a chance to live. The doctors yesterday laid out 3 potential scenarios, all of which they are prepared for:

1. Her body is able to continue on as it has for the past 3 weeks and we will elect to deliver my son (Iver) when we get to 32-34 weeks. They will give my son steroids (to protect his heart, lungs and brain) at the 27 week mark (my call on timing based on the information I have been provided).

2. The doctors will see some type of indication that her body is beginning to fail (a few days notice before anything serious happens, for example her heart or blood pressure become uncontrollable) and they would administer the steroids and then deliver him before any damage would occur to the womb. This could happen anytime between today and 9 weeks from now.

3. Her body starts to fail without notice and they are forced to deliver him immediately and would only have about 15-20 minutes to do so or he likely not survive.

Obviously we are hoping for scenario #1 and if the last 3 weeks have been any indication, they feel it’s the most likely at this point. After he is delivered, he will spend the next few weeks in the NICU until he is ready to go home with me.

The toughest part about this is knowing that no matter what, the day he is born will be the same day I have to say goodbye to my wife, and that day now has a timeline attached to it, however I still don’t know when that day will come.

December 29th.

My wife is dying. We are both 32, she is 22 weeks pregnant. Yesterday morning she was complaining of a headache and asked me to go to the store to get some Tylenol for her and when I came back she was unconscious on the bathroom floor. I called 911, the ambulance came and they tried to get my wife to respond and to breathe for almost an hour before we went to the hospital. At the hospital they discovered that my wife had a fluke random type of blood leak into the centre of her brain and that there was so much blood and damage that it is not reversible. My wife is now essentially legally brain dead. They performed a surgery on my wife’s brain to drain some of the excess blood from her brain and now they are going to try and keep her body alive for four more weeks; The thought process behind this is that if they can keep her body alive and growing our child until she is 26 weeks pregnant it will give our unborn son a 60 to 80% chance of surviving a C-section that time. Her family and my friends are all very supportive and all think that my wife would want me to try and give our child the best life possible so that’s what I’m going to try and do assuming that all goes well and I actually get to meet him. If the C-section is successful of course my son will then spend the next 15 weeks in the hospital under intensive care until he is ready to be released to me.
It’s likely today that they will declare my wife legally brain dead. I can go visit her as much as I want over the next 4 weeks (hopefully it’s 4 weeks and this all works) but my wife is essentially gone.
Ugh. I don’t know what to do or think. She is my rock. She does everything for us and I can’t believe I won’t get to talk to her again and now if this works, our son will grow up never meeting his wonderful mother.